Better Off Friends Read online

  I could see Macallan in the kitchen when I approached the house. She looked up and saw me. She gave me a weak smile, probably knowing that I finally knew the truth. Or was she dreading having to dump me? She opened the door, and neither of us moved.

  “You talked?” she asked.

  “Yes.”

  She nodded. “I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you the truth the day you got back. I should’ve. There’s no excuse.”

  There was this awkwardness between us that we hadn’t had since we first met. Neither of us was sure what to do around the other. In that instant, I wished I’d never dated Emily at all. Especially if it had cost me my most important friendship.

  “It’s not your fault,” I said, and noticed her composure relaxed slightly. “We can still be friends, right?” I almost hated how desperate I was for her response, but another part of me didn’t care. I’d be lost without Macallan. We both knew that. I’m pretty sure everybody knew that.

  She looked confused. “Of course.”

  “You’re not going to have to choose?” I felt so juvenile, standing on her front step, begging her to pick me.

  “I already did.” She stepped aside to let me in.

  At first, I felt a little guilty about being responsible for ending Macallan’s friendship with Emily. Macallan didn’t say much about what happened. It was more like a fact to her: She and Emily were no longer friends.

  I wanted to do something to show her how much I appreciated everything she’d done for me. But since I didn’t have the means to build her a chef’s dream kitchen, I was at a loss. Thankfully, Mom suggested having a joint graduation party with Macallan’s family. And Macallan wasn’t allowed to cook. She was going to be pampered that day, all day.

  The morning of the ceremony, Mom took her to get a manicure and pedicure. I was invited, but refused — I needed to keep some of my guy points intact. The ceremony was boring. We all got to go up and get a diploma, but we were only graduating eighth grade. We’d see each other that fall, in a different school. With more people. Thankfully.

  We headed back to my house afterward. Macallan, her dad and uncle, and me with both my parents and my mom’s family from Chicago. Mom had been fretting all week what to make since Macallan had quickly eclipsed Mom’s cooking skills.

  We all gathered in the living room and snacked on the appetizers (Macallan made sure to compliment Mom’s cooking a lot). It wasn’t long before Macallan and I broke from the adults and went out to the backyard.

  “So does this mean we’re officially young adults now?” I asked her.

  “I don’t know. I’ve already been reading those kinds of books for a few years.”

  “Uh-oh, does this mean I’m still a baby? I really love Everyone Poops.”

  “Do you need me to answer that?” She nudged me playfully.

  “Probably not.”

  Silence fell between us. This was a common occurrence whenever we’re alone. When you’re comfortable with someone, you don’t need to always fill the void with noise. I liked it when we would just be.

  “Do you think next year will be different?” Macallan asked.

  “I don’t know. I’m excited about it, though, you know?”

  She shrugged. “I guess.”

  I could tell she was uneasy about the move. It made sense. What was strange was that I wasn’t that nervous. I was excited. I felt the new school would give me another start. More opportunities.

  “Everything could change,” she said in a quiet voice before she shot me a look. “Or not. Blimey if I have a clue.”

  “Hey, that’s my line,” I teased before I put my arm around her. “Listen, nothing will change with us. I promise you right here, right now, that I’ll be there for you through good times, bad times, friend issues, boy issues, teacher issues, whatever issues. And you’ll always have a date to any social event that requires a male companion. I hear I clean up nicely.”

  “I wouldn’t trust your sources.” A smile was now on her lips. “And what makes you think I couldn’t get my own date?”

  I shook my head at her. “For the record, I don’t think you’d have a problem finding a date. I just imagine every guy will pale in comparison to me and never live up to your clearly heightened expectations.”

  She looked at me flatly. “The only thing heightened around here is your ego.”

  “Fine, fine. I’ll go stag, then.” I dropped my head.

  “Okay, fine. If neither of us has a date, we should do things like homecoming together. Why not? Everybody thinks we’re a couple anyway.”

  “Why not? I guess I’ll take that as a yes. Sound good?” I held out my hand.

  She shook it. “Sounds perfect.”

  It was kinda perfect. And you didn’t seem that horrified when I took you to homecoming freshman year.

  That was fun. Freshman year was really great, actually. Pretty easy transition. We both made some new friends. No emotional trauma that wasn’t solved with a Buggy and Floyd marathon.

  And then you had to get a boyfriend.

  It was only a matter of time before I was snatched up, especially when you can bake a brownie like I do.

  Oh, is that what the kids are calling it these days? Baking brownies?

  Gross. But don’t forget that you got a girlfriend at the start of sophomore year.

  Yes, I did.

  But did the questions stop about whether or not we were a couple?

  No, they did not.

  If I could’ve talked to my eighth-grade self, I would’ve told her she had nothing to worry about. Freshman year was easy. Admittedly, having a boyfriend who’d already spent a year there helped a lot.

  “Are you cold?” Ian put his arm around me.

  “Why do I have a feeling that was just an excuse to get closer to me?” I leaned into him.

  He gave me a little squeeze as we sat in the bleachers during the JV football game at the beginning of sophomore year. Of course, Ian had assumed Levi and I were dating when high school first started. I couldn’t really blame him. Not only did Levi and I go to and leave school together (unless he had practice), we sat together at lunch, went to homecoming together, and did pretty much everything together.

  I got it. I really did. But that still didn’t mean I was going to stop spending time with my best friend.

  I guess Ian figured it out because he asked me on a date the Saturday after Thanksgiving. By the time the JV game came along, we’d been together for ten months, and not once had he ever complained about Levi to me. Sure, he’d tease me, but I knew I deserved most of it.

  “Have I ever told you that you’re too good a friend?” Ian laughed.

  “There’s always a chance that he’ll get in.” I hoped the universe heard me on that one.

  We were at the football game to support Levi, even though he’d never made it to the field. Ever. Not as a freshman, not during the first two games of sophomore year. It wasn’t the running he struggled with; the coach repeatedly told him he was the fastest on the team. It was catching the ball that was the issue.

  So Levi sat on the bench. But he was a part of a team.

  And Levi was a part of my life, which is why I was also sitting on a bench.

  “Do I need to remind you that I come to all your track meets in the spring?” I nudged Ian.

  “Do I need to remind you that Levi’s also competing? So let’s not pretend you’re there just for me.”

  I opened my mouth in shock. “Exactly what are you implying?”

  He shook his head. “Nothing. I’m certainly not questioning your allegiances. I know I’d lose that battle. Plus, you know I like him … except for the fact that he’s getting close to beating my times.”

  I hid my face. I was grateful that the only time my boyfriend and best friend got competitive was during track. The varsity track coach, Mr. Scharfenberg, had already told Levi he was pretty much a shoo-in to be on the varsity team this year.

  Ian and I sat through the entire game. I tri
ed to pretend to be interested in what was going on, but honestly, if Levi wasn’t playing or the players weren’t wearing green and gold, I couldn’t have cared less.

  I did spend a significant amount of time avoiding eye contact with the cheerleaders. Emily performed like she didn’t have a care in the world, and she probably didn’t. She’d dated Troy for a bit, followed by Keith, then James, then Mark, then Dave. Despite all her concerns, she never struggled to fit in. She had an even bigger circle of friends now.

  Danielle had gone with me “in the divorce,” which was good, because I’d really needed her dry sense of humor to help me after the breakup. Whenever Emily and I had class together, we’d sit and chat, but as soon as the bell rang, she’d go to her new friends. But I had new friends of my own, which made it easier not to have hard feelings.

  After the game was over, Ian and I waited by the locker room for Levi.

  He exited the building with a gray hoodie pulled low over his head. His entire posture showed defeat.

  “Hi!” I tried to be enthusiastic for him, but not too enthusiastic.

  “Hey, guys.” Levi continued to look down at the floor.

  “I told your mom we’d give you a ride home. But first maybe some custard? On Ian?”

  “Hey!” Ian grabbed me by the waist.

  I swatted his hands away. “Ever the gentleman.”

  Levi wasn’t amused. “Nah, I’m okay.” He wouldn’t even look at us.

  There were two words for a moment like this: awk-ward.

  We got into Ian’s car. I could practically feel Levi’s eyes roll into the back of his head when a rap song came blasting from the stereo. I turned the music down.

  “So, Levi.” Ian glanced in the rearview mirror. “I heard you’re dating Carrie Pope?”

  I didn’t think you could technically call one coffee and one movie dating. But Levi nodded.

  “Isn’t she a freshman?” Ian’s interest in Levi’s dating life was making me anxious.

  “Hey, pot, are you calling this kettle black?” Levi said with a laugh. I was relieved that he still had his sense of humor.

  “No,” Ian stammered. “I’m just saying she’s cute.”

  “Hey!” I playfully hit his arm.

  “That’s not what I meant. She’s not my type.”

  “Oh, so cute isn’t your type?” I countered.

  “Sounded like that to me,” Levi announced from the backseat.

  “You know, you guys are no fun,” Ian sulked. “Nobody can ever win anything with the two of you ganging up on poor, poor souls.”

  “Oh, please.” I turned around and gave Levi a high five just to annoy Ian further.

  “Blimey if we can help it,” Levi said in a British accent.

  “Ack!” Ian protested. “Enough with that blimey stuff. You guys are too much.”

  “I believe he means too much awesome,” I clarified.

  “Clearly,” Levi agreed. “Can’t imagine what else it would be.”

  “Unless it’s amazing.”

  “That’s another word people often use to describe us.”

  “And fabulous,” I reminded him.

  “Inspiring.”

  “Extraordinary.”

  “Stop!” Ian cried out like he was in physical pain. “Oh, I’ve got plenty of words to describe you two. Believe me.”

  He pulled over in front of Levi’s house. “So, Levi, how about we even the playing field and go on a double date. Then maybe Carrie and I can gang up on you two for a change.”

  An odd silence took over the car. Levi and I were no longer joking around. I don’t know why we were both reacting so strangely. It wasn’t as if Levi didn’t hang out with us, but now we were adding a fourth. Would it be uncomfortable?

  “Was it something I said?” Ian asked, to lighten the mood.

  I tried to grasp on to reality and not overreact. “No, yeah, I think that would be great.”

  I looked at Levi, who was studying my face. “Sure,” he said. Although he didn’t sound sure.

  “Great!” Ian was way too excited about this. “We’ve got that party at Keith’s next weekend.”

  “We do?” I hadn’t known we had that.

  “Yeah, didn’t I tell you?” I shook my head in response. He continued. “Oh, well, let’s go grab a bite beforehand and go over together.”

  “Ah, okay.” Levi got out of the car and gave me a little wave before going inside.

  “See.” Ian leaned over toward me. “Look at me playing nice with your BFF. What does this get me?”

  “The privilege of driving me home,” I stated flatly.

  He laughed. “You’re something else. You know that, right?”

  So I’ve been told.

  I didn’t know if it should comfort me that Levi was as hesitant about the double date as I was. I’d met Carrie a couple of times, but I’d tried to give her lots of space. I knew that Levi having a girl as a best friend could be intimidating. She seemed sweet and he liked her, so I wanted it to work for him.

  Plus, I had learned to knock before entering rooms, both literally and metaphorically.

  The four of us were eerily quiet on the drive over to the restaurant for Friday night fish fry. I gave Levi the front seat, thinking he and Ian could talk about guy things and I could get to know Carrie more.

  “I like your skirt,” I offered. Carrie was wearing an orange skirt with an off-white cashmere wrap sweater.

  “Thanks. I like your outfit, too,” she replied, although I was only wearing jeans and a basic black top. But she was clearly trying to make an effort.

  “Thanks.”

  She smiled at me. “And you have, like, the best hair.” She started fiddling with her own long honey-brown hair.

  “You’ve got great hair, too.”

  She shrugged her shoulders. “My color is so boring.”

  Levi turned around. “Seriously, hair and clothing? Way to shatter stereotypes, Macallan.”

  I shot him my patented death stare. “What were you guys going to talk about, sports?”

  “Well, we’re clearly manly.”

  “Seriously? You want me to get in this with you right now in front of Carrie.” I raised my eyebrow, daring him.

  He turned back around. “I knew this was a bad idea.”

  While I was pretty sure he was saying it in a joking manner, I agreed with him one hundred percent.

  I tried to adjust my attitude as we sat down at Curran’s Tavern. We made small talk before the waiter came over and took our orders.

  Levi gave me a crooked smile. “Shall I order or do you want to?”

  “We always get the same thing,” I explained to our confused companions. “Yes, I’ll have the fried cod with baked potato, but can I please have extra sour cream with that? And blue cheese dressing on the salad. Thanks.”

  “I’ll have what she’s having,” Levi announced. “Although you forgot one thing.”

  “Oh! Cheese curds!” I practically screamed. “Um, can we start with an order of fried cheese curds as well? Thanks.”

  The waiter nodded and turned toward Carrie, who asked for a grilled chicken Caesar salad.

  “And I’ll have the cheeseburger, medium rare,” Ian ordered.

  I didn’t have to say anything, because I knew Levi would.

  “Seriously? Who goes to a fish fry and doesn’t get fish?” He shook his head. “First of all, I will not be sharing my corn fritters with either of you, and I know for a fact that Macallan won’t, either.”

  “Preach it,” I encouraged.

  Levi leaned in, his face so serious it was almost solemn. “Listen, guys, I never heard of a Friday night fish fry until Macallan’s family took my family. You have no idea how spoiled you are in Wisconsin: fried fish, corn fritters with honey butter, baked beans, bread and butter, coleslaw, potatoes — you get your choice of potato! And did I mention the butter? So much butter! I mean, what more could you want on a Friday night? Ordering something else … It’s madness, madness
, I say!”

  While Carrie and Ian didn’t look as amused as I was, a strange sense of pride overwhelmed me. If only seventh-grade Levi could see himself now. He was even starting to get a little Midwestern accent.

  “What are you smiling at?” Levi inquired.

  “Nothing,” I responded a little too quickly.

  “Like I would ever fall for that.” He leaned forward and gazed in my eyes as if he was trying to read my mind. I looked away. At that point, I wouldn’t have doubted that he could. “Ah, see, I know you’re up to something.”

  “Who, me?” I said in my most innocent voice.

  “Please.” He leaned back and put his arm around the back of Carrie’s chair. “Let me tell you a little something about this one, Carrie. Do not fall for the good-girl, straight-A-student façade. Beneath her sweet exterior is a snarky center with quick wit and even quicker rebounds.”

  “Which is exactly why you’re best friends with me.”

  “Obviously,” Levi agreed.

  Ian cleared his voice loudly. “So, Carrie, I think we need to intervene before the Levi and Macallan Show takes over. Once they get started, they don’t stop. Ever.”

  Carrie maneuvered uncomfortably in her chair and played with her straw wrapper.

  I mouthed sorry to Ian. This wasn’t the first time, nor did I think it would be the last, he’d had to intervene when Levi and I got into one of our epic conversations.

  I ended up playing twenty get-to-know-you questions with Carrie until our food arrived. Besides being really sweet, she was running for student council and volunteering at the animal shelter on the weekends. I felt like a total slacker in comparison.

  Although I was having a good time, I had to fight every instinct I had to talk to Levi whenever a thought came up that I knew he’d enjoy or have a comeback for. I needed to be on my best behavior. We had our dates to consider. After all, it was a pretty big miracle we could find members of the opposite sex who enjoyed our company as much as we did.

  We arrived at Keith’s house when the party was in full swing. Everybody from the football team, cheerleading squad, and marching band was there.